I miss my best friends. Nothing seems the same in my life at all without them. It's like everything has changed and I do not like it all. Not that the people in my life right now aren't amazing but what has been happening to me and the decisions I've made recently are not making me happy. Well they are right at the moment I make it but afterwards in the long run I'm not very happy and I miss being happy. I miss being able to just talk to my friends without something terrible happening. I miss just chillin in the car, driving around to "jay in the bay" and the infamous "mini mart." Oh the mini mart with its wonderfully delicious icee. OMG I am so digging one right now. I miss everything about what I used to do. I miss laughing with the besties, and going shopping, and eating at Genki. I miss just hanging out, not having to do anything and just be myself. I know I have changed myself for the worse just to fit in and I want to stop. It is not a good thing for me to be doing right now but I do not know what to do. I am seriously at a cross roads and I have no idea where to go. If I do what I know is right and just be good, I will loose some of the people I have grown to love in the short weeks and I could go back to how my life used to be. And if I continue to do what I am doing I will just be more and more unhappy but I will still have the people I love at school. It is a difficult decision to make because there are two very important people who love me and want me to go back to normal because they like the old kawehi who was a dork, and crazy, and hilarious. I miss the old me too, the person who was loud, and care free, and not worrying about what was going to happen the next day. I'm pretty sure I know what I am going to do but I know it is going to be hard but I love them and myself enough to do it. I know they want me to be a better person and I love them for it.
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