Fuck.My.Life.

Today it finally feels like my best friend is gone and i dont know what to do. She is the only person who really understood me in every possible way and who loved me for who i was. She is one of the most important people in my life and now shes gone. It feels like ive been ripped in half again. Once when olivia left and now another person is leaving so im being split again. This time though, I never said goodbye and I promised her I would go with her to the airport. I have so many regrets about her leaving. I never said goodbye, we never did everything we said we would and not we wont get teh chance to do it again for a while. I miss her so much, and it hurts so much. I can't stop crying because everything reminds me of her and what a great time we had doing small things. She is an amazing person and now shes gone and there is nothing i can do to bring her back. I feel so alone and so isolated and like no one cares about what is going on in my life.

Office Romance.

As much as I want to get over him, I still don't want to. He is just someone that is pretty important to me without me even realizing how important and it is a very terrible thing. He makes me smile without really even trying. Just being who he is, the arrogant and fun loving and irratic person he is. Sure he can be a total douche sometimes which pisses me off a lot but still, its him and there will always be a soft spot for him in me. I dont want it to be there but it will be there, because its him and i forgive and forget way to easily and I move on and put things in the past far to quickly. As much as I want to be rid of him and just be friends I can't. I can't because there will always be that part of me that longs for him no matter how hard I try.