Fuck.My.Life.

Today it finally feels like my best friend is gone and i dont know what to do. She is the only person who really understood me in every possible way and who loved me for who i was. She is one of the most important people in my life and now shes gone. It feels like ive been ripped in half again. Once when olivia left and now another person is leaving so im being split again. This time though, I never said goodbye and I promised her I would go with her to the airport. I have so many regrets about her leaving. I never said goodbye, we never did everything we said we would and not we wont get teh chance to do it again for a while. I miss her so much, and it hurts so much. I can't stop crying because everything reminds me of her and what a great time we had doing small things. She is an amazing person and now shes gone and there is nothing i can do to bring her back. I feel so alone and so isolated and like no one cares about what is going on in my life.

Office Romance.

As much as I want to get over him, I still don't want to. He is just someone that is pretty important to me without me even realizing how important and it is a very terrible thing. He makes me smile without really even trying. Just being who he is, the arrogant and fun loving and irratic person he is. Sure he can be a total douche sometimes which pisses me off a lot but still, its him and there will always be a soft spot for him in me. I dont want it to be there but it will be there, because its him and i forgive and forget way to easily and I move on and put things in the past far to quickly. As much as I want to be rid of him and just be friends I can't. I can't because there will always be that part of me that longs for him no matter how hard I try.

These are my bitches.

So this is Alice and Olivia. I kind of love them a lot. They are me bestest friends in the entire world. I seriously have no idea what I would have done without them for the last three years. They are the people who keep me sane in this world. They are hilarious as hell and probably the most badass people I know. Olivia moved away last summer and it sucked, Alice is going to visit her in Tennessee this Christmas and I am so jealous. My selfish, stupid, and controlling mother said I could not go because I was underage. That has to be the stupidest excuse ever.
Right now I am watching Pulp Fiction for the first time. This movie was so fucking trippy. Omg there was blood and killing and awesomeness but when this one chick almost died from snorting heroin it was scary as fuck. I never knew you couldn't snort heroin. Shit that is scary as hell, idk if she just snorted too much but she died and they had to shoot her with adrenaline and it was just fucking trippy. Lesson: Don't do drugs! They re bad.
I'm about to watch Mirrors with Nanea. The first time I saw this was at Olivia's house and it was so scary that we were jumping up and down on her couch screaming and we couldn't walk around alone. It was fucking terrifying. My sister loves scary movies and usually isn't scared of them but I think shes gonna be scared of this one. It was bad. Well it was a really good movie but it was so scary.

Fashion Idol 2!

Well this is my best friend/wifey. I love this girl. She is hilarious, and fun, and knows how to party. Right now, sadly I haven't seen her in like a month. I miss her like crazy. This is another person I admire for their fashion choosings. She always looks so cute. I love it. Now this chick, I would actually steal her clothes. Well borrow for a very lont time and eventually give it back maybe. Like those shorts that I just never remember to give back. I know she is getting into fashion too, as like a magazine kind of person and I can totally see her doing that. She would be in like heaven. I think I would cry if I worked at a magazine. I would not know what to do. But she would be amazing. She would know exactly what to put together and I am so jealous. I love this chick!

Fashion Idol!

This is my best friend Olivia. She is freaking hilarious, and wild, and crazy, and she is just the bestie. Anyway this is going to be a little bit of a creepy blog, but whatever. Seriously, she is my like fashion idol. She always dresses so adorably with everything and I am so jealous. I remember when she bought boots, I tried them on and I looked straight up retarded, but when I tucked my jeans into them, it just got worse. And the gladiator shoes. I remember she bought some yellow python ones and I thought they were so ugly until I got used to them and actually wore them. They are so cute. But most definitely my favorite fashion adventure we ever had at her house was when I had some fun in her dads closet. Oh my God. That was a blast, some suits with bow ties, and some heave biker pants. And her moms swim suits. Oh gosh. Fun Times. But anyway, im digressing, I love like all her clothes. She had this flannel shirt that she wore all the time. I have a gray one but mine is actually a jacket and hers was just there to look adorable. I sound like a total creep but right now she is getting into fashion and I want her ot know that she is really good. She knows what looks good and I am pretty damn glad I had such a fly best friend when she lived herw!!

Normal simplicity.

I miss my best friends. Nothing seems the same in my life at all without them. It's like everything has changed and I do not like it all. Not that the people in my life right now aren't amazing but what has been happening to me and the decisions I've made recently are not making me happy. Well they are right at the moment I make it but afterwards in the long run I'm not very happy and I miss being happy. I miss being able to just talk to my friends without something terrible happening. I miss just chillin in the car, driving around to "jay in the bay" and the infamous "mini mart." Oh the mini mart with its wonderfully delicious icee. OMG I am so digging one right now. I miss everything about what I used to do. I miss laughing with the besties, and going shopping, and eating at Genki. I miss just hanging out, not having to do anything and just be myself. I know I have changed myself for the worse just to fit in and I want to stop. It is not a good thing for me to be doing right now but I do not know what to do. I am seriously at a cross roads and I have no idea where to go. If I do what I know is right and just be good, I will loose some of the people I have grown to love in the short weeks and I could go back to how my life used to be. And if I continue to do what I am doing I will just be more and more unhappy but I will still have the people I love at school. It is a difficult decision to make because there are two very important people who love me and want me to go back to normal because they like the old kawehi who was a dork, and crazy, and hilarious. I miss the old me too, the person who was loud, and care free, and not worrying about what was going to happen the next day. I'm pretty sure I know what I am going to do but I know it is going to be hard but I love them and myself enough to do it. I know they want me to be a better person and I love them for it.

Blood Oath...

I've always wanted to make a blood oath but I've never had a reason to make one. Now I do and I am so freaking excited I made it. I made a blood oath with my bestie Erin to do everything and everything we ever wanted before she moves in December. Making the blood oath was hilarious. I am terrible with pain so having to intentionally inflict pain on myself sucked, I cut my finger a little bit and so did she. It was funny, we did this in her kitchen with her step mom watching a movie in the other room. We were already in a little bit of trouble so if they found out about this I don't think they would be too happy. But this thing was fun, and it was something I've always wanted to do and I am so glad I did it with her because she is my best friend. She understands me in a way no one else can and I love her for it.

Sexy ass musik people ;)

Mitch Lucker. Suicide Silence is probably the scariest sounding band I have ever heard. My favorite song is Unanswered. The drum patterns are so confusing and Mitch Lucker is just amazing at vocals. He is so sexy. I love tattoos, and piercings. Gorgeous Boy :)

Lil Wayne. I don't know what it is about him that's sexy, but he just is. I guess his voice kind of adds to the sexiness, because before he came to Hawaii I didn't think he was very hot, but afterwards it was all different. He was fucking sexy as hell on stage man omg. I died :)

Bring Me The Horizon! I love Oliver Sykes. His tattoos are amazing. He is so sexy omg! Next to The Devil Wears Prada, BMTH is my favorite screamo band. Definitely one of the bands that needs to come to Hawaii. If the Warped Tour came here that would be crazy :) Beautiful Boy. He went from looking relatively innocent to being a total badass! I love Metro Station. If they came to Hawaii I would die. His eyes are gorgeous. And I love guys with septum piercings, it is so sexy. Monroe's are pretty sweet too but snake bites are definitely even sexier :)

Only the hottest thing I have ever seen. Zack Merrick. All Time Low is just the shit. Definitely up on the list with Paramore and My Chemical Romance. He is just beautiful. He a fucking blondie, and he plays guitar and is just orgasmic!

Frank Iero. Next to Paramore, My Chemical Romance is easily one of my favorite bands. But from the band, Frank Iero is definately my favorite. He's the rhythm guitarist for My Chemical Romance and the lead vocalist for Leathermouth. He's amazing, and gorgeous. Being able to play the guitar is the ultimate panty dropper, and he does it well. For a long time everyone thought he had a thing with his band mate Gerard Way. When I heard that I thought it was like the hottest thing ever. They're both pretty sexy so it just made them hotter :)

Avril Lavigne is my ultimate girl crush. She is so gorgeous. Her pink streak in her hair is so cute. Even back in her tom boy days she was still beautiful. I love like all her songs, they're so deep and moving like Since You Been Gone but she can still come up with uppity songs like Girlfriend & Hot & The Best Damn Thing. So sad she got married, even though her husband was pretty hot ;)

I <3 the wifey!

I love this bitch right here. She is fucking amazing. She is so freaking funny. I met her in the 8th grade but I only got to know her during my freshman year. At first I didn't really like her but I've grown to love her. I seriously can't imagine my life without her. She can say like the stupidest things and I die laughing because I know exactly what she means. She understands my stupid ass jokes and I love her for it. We were supposed to get married this summer but we just never got around to it. I proposed on the Koko Head hike trail in Hawaii Kai. It was a hella crazy day. We never actually go up the trail but we had fun at the middle. But seriously she is amazing. She deals with so much and yet she is still such a strong person. I wish I was more like her in someway but I'm glad were different. Even though we do fight sometimes we still make up after a little cooling off period. She is the person I talk to about like everything, I never feel retarded when I tell her something. Except when its something stupid that I think about later and I'm like really? Was that a serious question. There are so many memories I've had with her that I wouldn't trade for the world. I remember some nights when I would sleep over and her parents would get pretty upset that I was so loud. And there were some days when we were at our friend's house and we would be dancing around or just sitting and doing nothing. I remember I wrote her a song. Haha oh fun times for my Aliciotti. I miss my love so much. It feels like I rarely see her, and I miss her like crazy. This is another chick I would do anything for. Anyway this chick right here is one of the most important people in my life and I don't want her to go anywhere. She is my bestie and my WIFEY <3

B*tch i'ma cut you!

This chick is beautiful. Her hair is amazing. I love her necklace and her everything. The bangs are long and they're sweeping bangs that I want. I want her hair!

This chick is gorgeous. I love her color. Her make up is like perfect. She knows exactly what to do to make the top big and volumous. Her hair is amazing and if I were blonde I would so do it like this but I'm not so I can't. :(

This chicks bangs are poerfect. I want these bangs. But her hair is so short. All of her accessories are so pretty, except the bracelets. I've never really cared for those kinds of bracelets. But her make up is flaw less.

Now this is just straight up rediculous. I love that she is confident enough to rock her look. Her bow is so cute but her hair is just teased way too much. Her bangs are so cool. I wish I could cut my hair like this but just not tease it so much. I really want her bangs, they're so long and they're like perfect.

I love her hair. It is gorgeous. I have like the same color and everything and almost the same cut but I just cannot get my hair to look like this. I am so jealous. I want to steal her hair, I want all their hair.

I want me some of these!

I like the satan top of this dress. The blue is really pretty. I want this so bad!!!

I love belted dresses. They look so cute, I seriously wish I could wear some of these clothes to school but I can't. I would look so out of place, I wish I lived on the mainland where I wouldn't look so freaking out of place.

This bag is genius. It has so many zippers on it and I want it. I need a neutral colored bag, my blue bag is pretty but I doesn't always go with everything I wear which sucks. I like this bag because it has a handle but its still big enough to be worn over your shoulder. Its just prefect.

I absolutely love this dress. It is gorgeous. It has a pencil skirt and its strapless. It has so many pretty colors in it. I want it so bad. But the Forever 21 here doesn't have this dress in the stores, only online. :(

I love the colors in this dress. I love strapless dresses. They always make my boobs look amazing.The belt is at the perfect place, just under the bust line so it makes the girls look great all the time.

I love this. I love the zipper in the front and I wish Hawaii had an Urban Outfitters. No one here ever dresses like this, I so would if I wasn't going to my high school. I love floral print things, they usually look so good on people and jumpers are so freaking comfortable.

At first lost, but now she's Found

There are certain people who are meant to some into your life even though it may be for a short time. I met someone last year who I wasnt very close to but this year is different. I tell her everything. I can honestly say she is one of my best frieds. I don't know what I would have done without her this year. We are so similar its scary. She understands my terrible jokes and makes some pretty bad ones herself and I love her for it. We knows how much of a dork I am and I know she is one too. She is my food friend, and my drug friend, and she knows me pretty god damn well. I know she was meant to come into my life even though it was only for a short time because she makes me want to do more than I would normally do. She is willing to take risks with me that I have always wanted to do but I just dont have the balls to do it by myself. She is right there with me laughing and giggling about practically everything. She is moving in December to Virginia because her crazy ass parents are in the FBI and they hate me so they are moving away. It is so sad, i am losing two best friends in one year. I dont know what I am going to do without her. So much is going to change without her here. There will be no one I can truely be completely myself with and no one who is going to tell me when I go a little too far. I am going to miss her so much but for now we will be having as much fun as fucking possible and we will do everything we planned on doing before she leaves.

Memories make the Heart grow Fonder

Last summer, my best friend moved to the middle of nowhere Tennessee. I miss that girl like crazy. She was wild and hilarious but still almost my exact opposite. I guess that's what made me love her more, we were so similar yet so different. She was one of the only people who understood most of my jokes and who knew my humor and knew me almost as well as I know myself. I could really talk to her about everything. We seriously did almost everything together. When she left, it sucked. I thought my life would never be the same. There wouldn't be the same humor, there wouldn't be that necessary part of my day where I could just talk and relax and just laugh. It was like I was losing something vital in my life. I cried everyday for weeks until the day she left. I never knew someone could cry that much, but the day she left was definitely the worst. It was the kind of tears that wouldn't stop or ease up to let you catch your breath. It wasn't till much later that I really thought about what happened. I'm not a very religious person at all but I know someone is up there watching. I thought, obviously God put her in my life for a reason. If we spent three years getting to the point we're at now and then she just leaves, there has to be more. Maybe God was trying to test our friendship to see if he succeeded in bringing us together. I think he has, I love this girl. There isn't anything I wouldn't do for her. If she asked me for a kidney, I would be looking for the next available operating table. I want to keep her in my life even though we live thousands of miles apart. She keeps me sane when everything just sucks. As I look back on our years of friendship I think of all the stupid things I've done and I am so glad she was right there next to me. I remember all the laugh attacks, and the late night partying we did. I remember everything we did that was significant even though it may not have been good. I remember our fights and the making up and having even more fun. I remember sleep over galore, and numerous beach days. I remember the shopping sprees and the multiply weekend rituals of genki lunches. We had so many memories and I am so glad we can share them. I love her and I miss her a lot but I know we are going to stay best friends for a very long time.

I'm Your BAMF!

Hello, I'm Kawehi.
Welcome to my blog. I live on a little island in the middle of the pacific called oahu, hawaii. Being oahu grown has been fun but im ready to leave. I'm more of a mainland person, oahu is just too small for what i want to do with my life. I'm ready to get off of this tiny island and see what else is waiting for me out there. Now a little about me. I absolutely love music, boys, and girls. I just turned 16 and I am so stoked for the coming years. It feels like everything in my life has been coming at me in a blur and I hope the summer returns to me and graduation quickly follows. I have a job but I haven't started yet and im so excited. I play water polo, and I'm on the swim team. I love to laugh and I love to make people laugh because people are usually more pleasant when they're laughing. I am a very loud and exuberant person and I love being the center of attention. Enough about me though, I'll save some for later.
- auf wiedersehen. vielen dank dafur, kurz vorbeizukommen